Saw an entry on elaine's blog on weight.
I cannot say how upset i am when i saw it because that is how it was for me as well.
Only i can't have said it better.
For her, demons reside in her highschool past.
For me, the only time i felt so insanely obsessed with how "fat" i am is only with him.
Yes.
One and only him.
Because he made me feel fat and not good enough.
It didn't matter how many sorries been said, my perception has been turned.
It is like having one of those funny mirrors around whenever i am with him, i always look fat and never beautiful.
I have never felt that way with my friends because, like elaine said, they have never made me felt that way.
It is really not about how much you weight per se.
It is really the perception that others keep harping on you.
Especially people who you care about and wish would think that you are beautiful.
My parents and brothers can call me fat and i wouldn't mind as much because they are family and despite what we say, we accept each other, because like my brother said, its "blood".
Yet, despite how much i know consciously not to let what other people say interfer with the my own concept of self, he got to me nonetheless when no one else could have.

It is not fair.
Despite knowing it isn't fair and it isn't right for me to feel so bad about myself/my body image when i am with him, i still do.

Screw all you superficial people who judge people on the account of their body size!